This Palestinian reporter fled Gaza for her children's safety. Now, she says she lives with survivor's guilt

It's been 10 months since Al Jazeera UK correspondent Youmna El-Sayed fled Gaza.

She said it was "one of the hardest decisions" to make, even though saving her children was  her "only choice." "My biggest fear was that my children would no longer be safe at home, and that I would lose them to an airstrike," she told CNN. "I had no other choice to save her life, so I had to leave. I was threatened more than once and evicted more than six times. Life became incredibly difficult with every passing day," she explained. Though she now lives in Egypt,  she struggles with survivor's guilt and said life is not easy. "It's really drained me physically, emotionally and mentally," she said. El-Sayed criticized the underreporting of the devastation in the Gaza Strip, noting that the public is beginning to become aware of the situation by following Palestinian journalists and Gazans who "document the war crimes  they are being subjected to." She explained that at Nasser Hospital in Khan Younis, she met a child with a backpack on his chest. "He asked me, 'Do you know what's in my backpack?' And before I could answer, I saw blood underneath the backpack. It was a bloody scene. And  I know what I expect. I know what he wants me to say." She told CNN it was his 5-year-old brother. "I just didn't have the courage to record it," she said. "I felt guilty for a while because I didn't have the courage to record it," she said. "I let him down because I didn't react right away and put it on the record." I blamed myself for days. And it's been 10 months already, but I can't get over it, and I  never will. Looking back on the year-long war in Gaza, she said that life in Gaza before October 7 "wasn't normal anyway." "We didn't have the opportunity to travel or plan quick vacations like other families around the world, even if we had the financial means. When someone got sick, we didn't know if we could  take that person  somewhere else for life-saving treatment, otherwise they would have died in Gaza," she said, blaming Western governments and lawmakers for Israel's "double standards," not its people. " - Head of Gaza affairs.